12/12/2015

Tonight I had a reoccurring dream. This is a reoccurring dream I have had since I was in high school. I have yet to determine the meaning. But every time I have it it is equally scary as it was the 1st time I had it.

As a child I used to have night terrors. So bad in fact it was not unusual for me to run screaming outside. It was a true embarrassment to my mother. My mother is a great believer in therapy... for other people. I was counseled to remember that I am dreaming and to control my dream. If I couldn't control the dream there might be external factors at play so force myself to wake up. Ever since I was about 4, I consciously went to bed with the knowledge that I was dreaming and that I was in full control of my dreams. I've done some amazing feats in my dreams. But isn't that what they are for?

This is an aside... and this one is really funny... If I hate you and decide that you are no longer a part of my life, you no longer get to make guest appearances in my dreams. You are truly cut the fuck off. And someone else will replace you. LOL!!!

As I have matured, I find I usually let my mind do what it wants. Controlling dreams makes you tired upon awakening. And sleep is supposed to be restful. I let my dreams do as they will and if I get scared I control them or wake up. Now... the dream.....

I was in high school and waiting for a friend to pick me up to take me to school.. The house I lived in while in high school was the house I grew up in. I struggled to find everything I needed while I could hear my friend beeping her horn outside. I finally got outside and she had left me. In her place were 2 white men with shot guns and they were threatening me and they said I should come with them. I tried to make them disappear but they wouldn't leave. They started shooting at my house. I tried to wake up but couldn't. I was trapped. My father (who is deceased) once told me in a dream that if I needed him, all I had to do was find him at that house. My brother is recently deceased. I called for them and they came and fought the men back. Once they came to my aid, I was able to wake up.

Now here is my perpetual question.... Why do I keep having this dream??? And what does it mean??? Other versions of the dream have me leaving that same house to go to a friends house just a house away, and a car with a white driver comes to menace me. Or they try to break into the house. I have no idea what this dream is about. But it must be about something because it comes over and over and over and over. I can go years without having this dream or I can have it every week. There is no rhyme or reason.

11/23/2015

The Hindu goddess Kali came to visit with her arms tucked but clearly there. We talked. Then we danced. She was very friendly.

8/25/2015

I had a winning lottery ticket from NJ that was about to expire. I had only recently found it in the bottom of a rarely used purse.  A man came to my home to check the legitimacy.

8/15/2015

Peace.

I have had recurring dreams forever. One of the reasons I created this blog was to keep track of them. This dream was a conclusion to a recurring dream I have had for over 20 years.

For the last 20+ years I have been dreaming that I was in school. Not high school, but either college or grad school. My time at dream school has always be fraught with problems and situations. I was always out of money, or didn't pass classes. My previous classmates had graduated and moved on and I was ALWAYS left behind feeling somewhat lonely and very depressed, which didn't help my matriculation efforts.

But I finally graduated! And even that was difficult. My home/dorm had a gas leak that threatened to blow up. Someone came along and took over for me so I could get to graduation. Then I had car trouble. But someone came along and gave me a ride. I got to graduation late but I was allowed to sit and march with my class. I even gave a speech.

I cannot remember waking up this happy from a dream. And I am looking forward to what my dreams will be bringing me to in the future.

8/14/15

Peace...

I was living in a large Mexican inspired home on an even bigger walled compound. The house was really a sex club. People could come in and have sex, but they couldn't refuse requests. If they did they had to leave. So I suppose it was sort of a female wet dream.

I didn't live in the house 24/7 though. I had 2 children. A boy and a girl in that order. They lived behind the large house in more modest surroundings. They weren't allowed to enter the large house under any circumstances. I didn't know who their fathers were. And they were honored in the village because they could possibly be related to everybody.

2/27/14

Peace.

I know it's been a while since I posted. I usually like to post right when I wake up but that's not usually possible. For some reason colder weather fucks with me. Anywhoo...

I have been fasting. Today is only Day 4/21 but my body just kicked right in like it's day 18 or something.

The dreams have come....

I always dream in color. I don't know why but I always have. Since I began my fast on Monday, I have been running and flying and dancing all over my dreams. It's crazy. I wake up exhausted. I always have these vivid crazy dreams when I fast long term but this is ridiculous with how quickly they have manifested.

I expect great things from this fast.... Great unexpected expectations!



Peace

8/5/13

I just dreamed that someone tried it tow my car when I was not parked incorrectly.